For several of us, when we gave birth to our child or children, we were single. For some, you may have been married and, unfortunately, your fantasy marriage may have ended in a nightmarish divorce. However, custody was granted to you. Just for this conversation, I am not specifically referring to the latter, but as always feel free to give your input.
Today things are done differently. If you are a single woman giving birth to a child, unless the father is present to sign his name on the dotted line, that baby is leaving the hospital with your last name. In my case, this wasn’t a problem. At the time of birth, I did not want my son to bear the last name of people who did not even acknowledge his existence. BUT… my son’s blood does not lie. He is the offspring of his biological father. So should he bear his name or continue through life with mine?
This has always been a question of mine, even before I had my own child. Often times, in the case of a single mother, a child has the same last name as their mother but the mother is not married, again implying that the child has taken on the maternal last name. In my current relationship, with the man I “one day hope to marry”, we often talk about creating a legacy. It is his dream to have multiple sons of his own who will carry on his last name and the legacy that is associated with it. Traditionally, this is the natural order of things. The children get the father’s last name; the son(s) continue the lineage and the daughters marry into another lineage. So what happens in the situation of many our Singlemamas’ dilemmas? At first we really don’t have a choice if the father is not present at the birth. We are forced into one direction. (Note, I understand the legality behind this action.) And I guess, I am referring to cases where the dad is absent, why is it that mamas still want their child to bear his last name? If child support is in order and paternity has been done, then legally the child has been officially deemed his and hers. So the “what if something happens” excuse is invalid. Are we trying to hold onto a piece of something (child’s father)? Are we doing it out of spite? I envision my son being proud of his last name. I envision him with the same excitement my boyfriend possesses when thinking of passing on his last name to his kids.
My ultimate desire is for my son to be adopted by my future husband and we all share the same last name. He has my last name now, but when I transition into a new lineage my son will transition as well. A last name is something to be proud of; it is a name that reflects the family you come from and the family you will continue to build. So SingleMamas, does your child’s father qualify to have his name passed on for another generation? His Last Forever… Or Yours?
singlemamas 
What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. ~ William Shakespeare “Romeo & Juliet”
Whether its the mother’s last name or the father’s last name, a child will be who they are because God ordained it so. A child could have one name and act as the other. The child of a singlemama, represents two families… I think the name should be hypenated and when the child is of age, they make the decision of which name to use.
I believe that “your last name” represents who you are and where you’re headed. However, only God can truly make your name great! It is up to you to walk in His order. Bottom line is if you’re going to take on someone’s last name as a wife or as an adopted child, that name should be capable of adding value to who you are…
I think about that child who is not adopted into another lineage…is he/she still proud of his/her last name and able to build a family lineage???