Hello, My Name is Ursula and I am a Spoiler.

(text under image “Most kids just get a drink of water, you know.”)

When you have an “only child”, often times it is hard to gage when something is too much or too little. You do not have the advantage of prior dealings with an older sibling. My son is an only child, and when he asks for things, very seldom does he hear the word, “NO”. Keep in mind that he is only two years of age, and his vocabulary is not extensive enough to ask for anything too extreme… not yet at least! But the other day I seriously found myself about to cook my son “cakes” (which in our house is short for “pancakes”) for a snack. I was prepping my cooking station, gearing up to prepare my finest batch of “cakes” for a two year old to take one bite, then change his mind and say “I want cookies” instead. Where is the line drawn?

All the men in my life constantly address my son as the spoiled one and me as the ultimate spoiler. Before the “cake” epiphany, I plagued their comments as a non-factor and chalked it up as their lack of a maternal bond, right? I mean, my son is not spoiled. He does not get everything he wants, when he wants it. And then, I pinched myself. He may not get everything he wants but he does get a variation of what he wants, most of the time. My way of teaching him that he may not always get his way is saying “NO” to what he is asking for, occasionally. So that sounds stupendous to most. Here is where I go wrong, he doesn’t get that wagon he is pointing at but he walks out of Wal-Mart, after every visit, with either a bag of Life Savers Gummies candy or a small toy to add to the mounds of other toys he already has. Am I a bad SingleMama, family? Am I really teaching him that no means no, or am I teaching him that he may not get the big treat but he can always count on a smaller treat to come to the rescue?

I know you all are dying to know, did the kid get his “cakes”. He sure…. DID….. NOT!!! I had to draw the line. I told him NO like there was-a-tomorrow. And that became my motto; “Not today, maybe tomorrow”. His response was a simple, “OK Mommy”. Our children like discipline; they also like to test our limits. He knew the “cakes” were our breakfast food, but he also knew that if he asks, he usually receives and if he doesn’t receive the specific item that’s being requested, he receives a variation. These little monsters are smart, but we are smarter, SingleMamas. Do a self-evaluation on your practices. Are you a spoiler or are you an improver, your child’s behavior and his life depend on it? Please Share.

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